No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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