I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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