i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
