i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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