I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
