Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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