I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
