So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
