i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Apparently you make a good broom.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
