I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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