So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
