I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
