How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
