speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
