I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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