Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
