There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
