Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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