Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I need a beard to bite.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
