Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
