it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
