In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize