Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
