just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
two words: eviction party
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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