all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
