i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
