if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
