I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So I just went to clothing optional bar
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
