I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
