Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
