hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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