not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
