3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
