I got chris browned last night
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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