dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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