brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
