yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
