ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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