I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
