I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
