Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We got so high we made milksteak
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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