By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
