Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
