The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
