I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
