If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
