So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
