his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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