yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it glows. i had to have it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
