so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
