the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
